


I remember

by Nagron12



Series: Domestic Zude - one shots [3]
Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: Awful Parents, Childhood Memories, M/M, Neglect, emotions on the run, fluff and sarcasm on the move, mama Zero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-06 23:38:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6774859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nagron12/pseuds/Nagron12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who would have tought two incredibly screwed up people would fit that perfectly together...</p>
            </blockquote>





	I remember

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly, this one shot was a little bit inspired by zude fic "Make you my wifey" by EvieMcGarrett10 (minus the wifey comments etc.).  
> Secondly, it seems I am completely unable to write happy stuff but hold on... I have like two other drafts worked up right now and at least one of them is supposed to be happy happy times. I just need to get this idea out of the way first <3  
> Thirdly, as you can notice I do really like zude's pet name... Blame James Larosa...

Gideon wasn't one for sentiments and nostalgia but there were days when he slipped down the memory lane and couldn't find the way back. In days like these he thanked to whoever was responsible for having Jude in his life. An anchor to his presence and hopefully to the future too. Tonight was one of those days...

* * *

It was an exceptionally ordinary day Zero had. For once it was really nice to be able to just train a little, chat with guys in the locker room, not trying to murder Derek and Terence in the process and being able to pick up Jude on his way to a parking lot. They usually didn't leave at the same time but tonight they did. Everything seemed somehow normal and easygoing. And the weirdest thing ever was that Gideon didn't freak out at all. He felt happy and blessed... and horny as hell... 

"So what do you say, Jude. Diner, game and making out on the couch? Sounds like a plan to me."

Jude looked at him sideways, smirk on his face.

"Ever the romantic." And he continued going through today's mail.

"Oh common. We are young. We don't have time to waist time, right? Besides it has been a while since we..."

Jude looked at him disbelievingly. 

"Last time we had sex it was this morning. In the shower. And then in the kitchen because you couldn't handle the thought of not having sex all day."

"See? It really has been a long time. Besides that thing in the kitchen does not count. It was a quickie and those do not count. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah. Got it. Look I need to get to the shower and then we can talk about what to do for the rest of the evening, alright?"

Gideon smiled. Gotcha! Jude was easy sometimes. He still wouldn't give in that quickly but at this point it was only a matter of time. 

"I am gonna figure out what we will have for diner in between... ooor I can join you?"

"Not a chance." And that was the last thing Jude said before he locked himself in the bathroom. How mean and low. 

* * *

By the time Jude finished his shower Gideon worked out the diner. Take out it is. It would be a nice quiet evening. They deserved one afterall. It has been a long time they did have a proper time just for the two of them. Jude however did not share the sentiment. 

"Take out? I thought you did say diner."

"Well, I could have made us something but it would take a while. Plus the mess in the kitchen. You don't really want to risk that, do you?"

Jude gave it a serious thought and had to admit he did not want to risk Zero anywhere near the cooker indeed. 

"Alright, one more take out night won't kill us, right?"

"Exactly! You do have a great taste, boss!"

Jude laughed. Gideon was in a playful mood. It was nice seeing him like this. All relaxed and seemingly happy. Sometimes it would seem that there were only the two of them. Jude wanted to freeze those moments forever. But his grumpy more realistic self usually didn't held for too long. Always considering all the possibilities of a major fuckup. He needed to be ready just in case afterall.

"Jude? Your brain is overheating again, isn't it?" Gideon had one of his furtive smiles. It was undoubtly sexy at times but there were days Jude just couldn't play along.

"Ehm, let's order. I am hungry as hell."

Thankfully the delivery guy was fast enough. Gideon switched on TV, finding a game on ESPN and thanked Jude for fast food china. He tried to focus on the food but had to admit his boyfriend was a major distraction this evening. Then again when he exactly wasn't. Jude had those old jeans which started to fall apart on all the right places but for some reason the guy couldn't just let them go yet. Thank God! Also, the oldish worn out T-Shirt without sleeves... Gideon had to control himself everytime he saw Jude in this particular outfit. Or had he. Who was he kidding he hasn't been able to control himself around Jude lately... or ever that is. And he had to admit to himself that it was all the more fun because Jude obviously had no idea how much power he actually had over him. Lucky him. It would be torture if he knew.

Suddenly he snapped from his fantasy world noticing Jude was actually staring at him. Very amused smile on his lips.

"What were you thinking about?"

"What? Me? Nothing. I wasn't thinking at all."

"Funny you say that. It seemed to me you were solving some sort of inner conflict. Either world war three problem or a plan of my seduction I would reckon." 

Gideon gulped. Maybe he was all wrong in his elaborations on Jude's oblivion. He so definetly was. Wasn't he. Crap.

"Well... you have to admit the world is a pretty violent place." 

Facepalm, Gideon. 

"A-ha. Sure. Well then, then you won't mind that I will go to bed early. I am pretty beaten up tonight."

"But... Jude!" Desperation level 250% that is.

Jude laughed once again. He took the leftovers to the kitchen and smirked at Gideon over the shoulder.

"You comin'?

* * *

It was around 4 a.m. when Gideon had suddenly woken up. Another semi-bad dream. He tried to calm his breath a bit and tried to stay still so he wouldn't wake Jude up. Only he noticed just seconds after Jude wasn't laying next to him. The sheets were sort of cold from fresh air in the room. Right, they forgot to close the window and it was a bit colder now. He stayed in bed for a few other minutes battling with himself should he get up and find Jude or let him be. The worry won the battle at the end. 

The house was quiet and dark. Only few appliances were lightning the rooms and halls. However, the alarm was off, which probably meant Jude was outside. Luckily, Gideon geared up for coldness and such.

"Hey there, gorgeous." He greeted Jude who was visibly zonning out in the old rattan chair in the middle of the patio.

Jude jumped at that but seeing it was Gideon he send him a lazy smile and pressed one of his legs under the chin a bit more.

"You gonna freeze to death, you know. Here, take the cover at least."

"Thanks."

Gideon searched for another chair and sit to the opossite side of Jude.

"So why the hell are you up in the middle of the night? Or better, why are you outside, Jude? It's really freezing here. You will catch a cold."

"I was just thinking."

Ok now. Jude had one of his "chatty" moods. Gideon hated those. Luckily, Jude couldn't handle all the pushy charms he was able to send his way... usually.

"Really? Just say it."

"It's nothing..." One look at Gideon and Jude had to give up. "Alright. But it really is nothing."

"If it was nothing we wouldn't be sitting here." Gideon didn't want to play around at this hour.

"I was just thinking about all this situation with Oscar you know. I knew what would you say so I didn't even wake you up."

"Situation with Oscar? What's he done now?"

"Nothing really. I just... well, what if he changed?"

Gideon had to be cautious now. What did you want to say to that: babe, you going crazy if you think your dad loves you? Not a chance... Babysteps. Jude was so smart. He knew. Gideon knew he knew. But there it was. He just couldn't give up the hope.

"Well, why do you think he changed?"   

"I do not know. He probably didn't. I just... I want him to I guess."

Gideon sighed and waited a bit longer for Jude to continue but he didn't.

"Ok. It could be, you know. I sure have seen stranger things to happen. But you know... he probably didn't."

Jude stayed still, eyes shifting from one table leg to the other. Basically just looking anywhere except Gideon. 

"Jude..."

Oh how Gideon hated Oscar right now.

"I just want you to be careful. That's all. Oscar is on the war path. He needs you and it might be he finally realized he needs you but you should be carefull anyway."

"Yeah. I know. It's Oscar. It's not like I would forget everything. It's just... I guess I just thought... nevermind I was wrong anyway."

"As I said before the sooner you forget about him the better you will be."

Jude breathed in at that statement. Of course he remembered. One of his first serious conversations with Zero. But he still couldn't get there and sometimes he was just angry that Gideon didn't share the sentiments.

"Yeah, I remember what you said but it's not that easy to forget. And I know you know what I mean. You didn't exactly forget either, did you."

"Me?! Why is it suddenly about me? And no, I don't know what you are talking about. I forgot. There was simply no reason to remember."

"Oh yeah. You are so full of shit sometimes, Zero. If it was the true we wouldn't be looking for Laura in the first place."

"Now that is not fair. I didn't want to look for her. You made me."

Jude finally looked at Gideon. And Gideon couldn't seriously tell if that look was full of hurt or a bloodlust. Probably both at the same time. Shit. Now it was him who hasn't been able to look Jude in the eyes.

"I am sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that... I forgot. Most of it anyway. Some of it I couldn't... or didn't want to."

"I know." 

Then he looked at Jude. His Jude. And he couldn't help it but laugh. 

Jude was surprised to say the least.

"What was so funny?"

"Just look at us. Two screwed up people trying to forget about even more screwed up people. You know what? I am kinda glad things happened though."

"Why's that?"

"It brought me to you, you stupid." 

Oh how beautiful Jude was when he smiled. Gideon couldn't look away this time.

"Did I ever tell you why I picked up the ball?"

Jude shook his head.

"Well, one of the few things I remember about my mom was that everytime the game was on the tely she was in a good mood. I never knew why. Maybe it was that we stopped fighting with Laura and there was a bit of a peace at the flat or maybe she liked it too but it felt really nice. It was actually the first time I saw the Devils' games too. For a while after she dropped us at my foster parents I was just hoping she  went away looking for a better job or something like that. And that she would be coming back anytime soon. Of course it never happened but I waited for her at the court down the road. Thinking that because she was my mum she would know where to look for me. And then when I was older I just tried to focus on being a famous player so she would notice me and found her way back. I thought that if I am going to play for the Devils she will notice and bring us home. Stupid, huh?"

Jude sat still. It was really a sad story but he couldn't help but being happy that Gideon was sharing once again. And it did occur to him that except occasional Oscar stories he didn't really share any of his childhood memories back.

"It isn't stupid at all. You missed her. I can't imagine being left like that."

"But you were in a way, weren't you."

"Nah. I got my mum. She took care of me. Pretty well I have to say. And it wasn't always easy but we managed."

"So how come you never talk about her?"

And there it was. How could Jude explain to Gideon, especially to him, that that was exactly the problem. She was there. With him. She cared. And Oscar didn't and wasn't there. 

"I guess it is true what they say? You always want what you can't have, don't you."

Gideon nodded. He knew pretty well.

"I mean I love her. She's my mum. Always will be. And I would do anything for her. But..."

"It is funny you know. I didn't see mine since I was five and since then I was so agry and sad with her but I think if she showed up I would eventually let go. At least some of it. But that's the thing. I don't need her anymore. She wasn't there when I did and so I learned how to manage. And then I met you and you ... there are just two types of family, Jude. One you are born into and you can't choose who you are related to. Sometimes it's good news and sometimes it's not. And sometimes you have to deal with people like Oscar or my foster parents. And then there is the second type. The people who you choose to be your family. And maybe because of it, the choice you make, it is way stronger bond than with the first family. And I didn't have the first one for a long time now but I sure as hell have the second one."

It was just a step and a half really but Jude launched himself from the chair, kneeled in front of Gideon and kissed him softly.

"Jude?"

"Hmm..."

"Could we please go home now? My ass is like seriously freezing here... and from what I can see yours is too. And that would be a real shame!"

**Author's Note:**

> Again I am collecting prompts and thank you all for the comments and kudos and why the hell do you even read it I don't get it... lol ;)


End file.
